This too shall pass...

I had to have some inspiration for this diet. Whew! Its not easy. I'm down 7 lbs and been holding for 2 days. Need to get fierce! Last night I threw softball with friends, I need some cardio but on this diet I have zero energy! Then today thanks to Pinterest, I found some inspiration.

This is TOO TRUE! Gotta be strong!! I don't live to eat, I just eat to live.

Anyways, on to better things. This is my birthday month! Geez, 23. Time flies. We talked about where we'd be at this time. Its completely different from where we are now. I have came to the conclusion though, that everything is going to be ok. I believe the Lord has his hand on my life and my heart and he is guiding me every step of the way. Thats the only way to happiness. After the last recent cry fest about a week ago, I made myself a promise. No one else will see me cry. (unless in church or something, but thats Jesus and happy tears!) But no one will see me cry again. I used to have this wall up and no one did ever see my emotions, then you came along and broke it all down. Well now, your gone and I am putting it back up. I have to be reminded that decisions need to be based on the Lord's will and not my emotions, so therefore, no more! So for the past week, I have woke up sad. I wake up from some dream about us, or I just wake up thinking about us. I think about this and nothing else all morning while getting ready. (this is nuts, I know...but) sometimes I even picture that you are up getting ready for work too, at the same time, and what it would be like if I never screwed up. Where would our lives be if we were in the same place? Thinking this way is NOT good for me at all. Normally I get in the shower every morning and the tears start to pour. That is my cryplace. Its the place where I can let it all out and loose to God. Some people sing in the shower? I pray, and I pray loud. I get fierce with the Lord and I bawl my eyes out. Every morning. I feel refreshed and ready for the day though. Knowing I got my emotions out and showed them to the one true friend that I have, Jesus. He listens to me and I know he is right there with me, holding me while I cry. The Lord has this. I know he has it in his hands. Its just my turn to play the role of the patient and waiting servant. Its hard, but this too shall pass.

Crystal