Here recently, things have been different. Better. But different. I have been spending a lot of time in the word. A lot of time "digging", for answers, for decisions. I seem like I have found some light to certain situations. I have been having some really special times lately. Times I have missed.
I have taken certain vows with the Lord. Vows to myself and vows that will affect whoever I date, and ultimately marry. I have been tugged toward this for a while now. Finally, my pride took a backseat and I took the vow. It will take so much effort. But my God is a big God and I believe he has big plans for me. Not sure how long this will take. But I am devoted.
I want to believe that everyone has the right motives. That the things they do and say and how they treat you are pure and honest. It really is hard to do. I don't always want to search for an underlying meaning to why someone acts the way they do. I am working on this.
Lately, I have had to put such a guard on my heart. I am still hooked to a lot things in this life that mean a lot to me. But no matter my feelings I have to make sure they line up with God's will for my life. I can't let my feelings run my life and be the reason why I do certain things. I have to do things out of truth and for the kingdom of God. If not, everything is useless. So I am praying that God remove these feelings or show me that they are pure and honest and they do line up with his will. I must be strong and follow him... not flesh.
This Tuesday took me back,
Crystal
