Mainly I am learning so much about love. Love really does conquer everything. As elementary as that seems sometimes - it holds so much power. Love allows me to look past everything I do not want to do in the flesh and overcome that with love. It allows me to look past every negative mindset, emotional, or feeling that I have and overcome that with love. We are required to love and it is such a blessing when we actually learn how to do so. God has completely wrecked me and my thinking within this year. I enjoy everyone's love. All of my friends are getting married, having babies, and loving life... and I really love their love. I am not jealous. I love it. That is an area I can see the Lord has really worked on me. I struggled with the fear of lonliness for so long and now that I finally have deliverance over that... I am infactuated with love... and not my love but everyone's. I applaud it and I literally get excited about it. Its so strange to me if I think about it in the flesh but it is so awesome.
At this time in my life, this is where I feel I am, and what the Lord is saying to me... If I just press in with all that I have, he will restore everything. If I just keep on keeping on giving everything to him and totally using him as my focus... restoration will come in every part of my life. How simple. This season I have stepped into is not peaches. I see things with my eyes that I have to overlook. I see desires for relationships that I want and think are right for me... but I have to overlook. Because my focus isn't on that. It is on Him. I can finally worship in church and not be distracted by who is singing. I can finally really really press in and feel God's presence stronger than I ever have. I have a fire in me, a yearning heart and it's pretty great. The devil is so stupid. He really is. His lies are no comparison to the truth I can back up with God's word. I am who God says I am and nothing less.
This blog is about to take a turn. No more of this mumble grumble stuff I was doing in the years past. I am more than my feelings. I am surrounded with love and even when I don't "feel" it. I love everything. I love God and I love every one of my friends. I love every relationship I have and previously had. I am thankful for so many things that knocked me down... because God picked me up. He rescued me and .... ahhhh I just am so in love with Him.
On November 16, 2012 I wrote a letter. A letter to someone who will always be a huge part of me. I was so vulnerable in that letter. I shredded every bit of shame off of me. I apologized for things, that in my flesh I didn't even think I did. But that's what love is. I give up the right to be right. I don't care about being right. I love enough that I will give up myself for someone. That is love. I want what's best for them. I am happy with whats best for them no matter if it ever involves me. That is love. I want to learn how to love even more. The more I press into God.. the more love I am exposed to.
Love conquers all
Crystal
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